I believe being a good parent starts and ends with your willingness to develop yourself as a human being. This includes becoming the healthiest person you can be, as well as the most educated and informed parent possible.
Often our pitfalls are because we lack the knowledge to overcome the hurdle.
There was a time in my life several years back that still troubled me. I had made mistakes but had apologized. Check. I told myself I forgave the trespasses against me. Check. Why then did I still feel haunted? Why did I re live and re suffer this time in my life over and over again?
I had heard about a fantastic book many times over. I felt God nudging me to read it, that healing was just inside the pages. I picked it up and began reading immediately. Through my study I finally found the answer I was looking for.
"Forgive the debt because you are never going to get your money back." Even though it was an analogy about a money loan gone sore it sparked a fire in my heart of clarity and relief. The reason I was stuck was because I was still waiting for the debt to be paid even though it never would be. I wanted something from a person who couldn't give it. A sincere apology perhaps, ownership without blame, or possibly an ounce of empathy ... but it would never come. I felt I had been publicly humiliated during this time in my life. I knew I had made choices that were against who God created me to be. But most of all I wanted to take back what I had given of myself. I wanted to reclaim that time, those moments, those decisions ... my heart, but it was impossible. That time is over. It will never be unwritten and it will forever be what it was. No matter what the other people involved say to themselves to cover up their own faults faulty as it may be, I know my truth and I know myself. I am a beautiful child of God. I live in a fallen world. I screwed up. Yet I came out of the lion's den wiser and more aware. I for once saw the true darkness within me that so desperately needed light. I saw how far I had fallen and in that saw how much higher I could go. I was reinvented in the heartbreak, and now it was time to finish the process and LET IT GO!
T.D. Jakes wrote a wonderful contribution to the world when he wrote Let It Go! I hope you will take the time to read it understanding that forgiveness is more complex then you think, and you very well could be operating at less then your full potential due to an unforgiveness lurking inside your soul.
If nothing else, read it to add tools to your tool box. You never know when you may need them!